


Orange Peel Smiles and Cotton Candy Cheeks

by Smiling_Junhui



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Everything Works Out Okay, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Junhao is cute support them please, M/M, Minghao Has a Sad Backstory, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Smut, Swearing, non-idol!au, not really smut at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 17:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13552116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiling_Junhui/pseuds/Smiling_Junhui
Summary: Minghao was born into a rough life, and just when he thinks that his life has gone to complete, irreversible shit, he meets Junhui.Minghao thinks that Jun is the prince that saved him, while Jun thinks Minghao is the prince that he must love and care for.It's a bumpy road to healing but they'll get there eventually with each other by their sides - because that's all they ever needed.





	1. Slow Mornings and Strawberries

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! Thanks so much for taking an interest in reading this!
> 
> Fair warning: Minghao has an eating disorder in the first chapters of this story. I personally have never had an eating disorder so I tried my hardest to understand what it may have been like for other people. I am truly sorry if this depiction is inaccurate but don't hesitate to let me know!
> 
> Thanks again, I hope you all enjoy!!

Junhui always woke up early - the early morning sunlight just leaking through Minghao's bedroom curtains, with few rays of light complementing Minghao's perfectly placed structure. The room was submerged in darkness, save for the small amount of light that illuminated Minghao's thin frame. Jun treasured moments like these, where the world was silent, and he was warm and isolated with the one person he cared about. Where maybe just for a bit - everything was alright.

As the sun lifted higher from the horizon, the light slowly crawled up Minghao's body until it was just under his eyes, causing him to wake up. He stirred for a moment, then turned towards Jun as he shifted in bed. 

Jun chuckled as he watched. “Good morning.” he mumbled in a deep voice. Minghao moaned unhappily and he threw himself onto Jun's chest as Jun wrapped his arm around him and giggled at the sight. “Sleep well?” he asked softly. 

Minghao recalled the night before as he smiled and nodded against Jun's side. 

“I'm not surprised,” Junhui started. “Considering that, last night, we made out for like-” 

Minghao picked up a pillow and smacked Jun in the face to attempt to get Junhui to shut his mouth. “Sshh. Let me go to sleep.” he complained and he turned onto his front side and clung onto Jun's larger frame. 

Jun smiled fondly as he complied. “Okay.” he whispered before cuddling into Minghao and relaxing into him. 

… 

Minghao awoke once again to a familiar warmth wrapped around him. He wasn't much of a morning person but he couldn't help but feel the corners of his mouth begin to lift upwards at his puppy-like boyfriend. “Good morning again.” he grumbled.

“Good morning, again.” Jun smiled. “How are you feeling?” he questioned. 

Minghao sighed “I'm okay.”

Jun grinned, “That's good.” he said, as he threw himself off of the bed to put some slippers on. “I'm going to make breakfast. Are you hungry?” Jun asked. Minghao sat up and looked at Jun with sad eyes - and that was all Jun needed to know. “Okay, baby, but can you try for me?” Jun said sweetly. 

Minghao eyed Junhui up and down, and he wanted to everything for Jun. He looked especially gorgeous right now. The curtains had been drawn, causing sunlight to flood their shared bedroom and illuminate his skin with the softest golden glow. Jun was only wearing his shorts and some dumb bunny slippers as his hair was in disarray. He looked absolutely adorable, Minghao thought, so he nodded softly. 

Jun smiled large and wide at that. “Thank you!” he sang. “It'll be ready soon, come out when you're ready.”

After Jun left the room, Minghao sat up in bed and lightly shook his head left and right to fix his hair. He stood up, stretching his limbs in all sorts of directions, and then began walking towards his dresser to put a shirt on, but he stopped himself short. Rather, he looked at himself - or maybe another less beautiful version of himself, he thought - in the mirror. His eyes travelled up and down, and across his body sadly. He couldn't remove his eyes from the reflective plane nor could he remove the negative thoughts streaming through his mind. 

Minghao was still looking at himself when, in the reflection of the mirror, he saw Junhui standing in the doorway behind him. Jun smiled sadly and walked towards Minghao who was standing there, looking at himself with his hands fidgeting with each other right in front of his ribcage. Junhui wrapped his arms around Minghao from the back and rested his chin on Minghao's shoulder as he softly kissed Minghao's neck and face. “Hey gorgeous,” Jun began, the nickname eliciting a slight comfort in Minghao, “Breakfast is ready, you wanna come with me?” he whispered, hugging Minghao slightly tighter. 

Minghao smiled and turned around to face Junhui, pulling himself out of his trance - for now. He smiled and nodded softly at Junhui. 

Jun beamed and held Minghao's hand, leading him to the kitchen. The two of them sat at the dining table, Minghao playing with his food and Jun watching intently. “Hao,” he began softly. “You've been doing really well these past few weeks. Do you think you can do this?” 

Minghao looked at Jun, then down at his food, then repeated the action a few times. He shook his head sadly. 

Jun sighed then moved his chair right next to Minghao's. “Please? I promise you that you won't gain much weight at all.” Jun muttered. 

“Jun, your food’s getting cold.”

“I don't care." Jun waited patiently for Minghao to take a stab at his food, but, alas, nothing. Jun then picked a strawberry up from Minghao's plate and held it in front of Minghao's mouth. 

Minghao groaned “Hui, I'm not three.”

“I know, but you're hungry.”

“I'm not.”

“I can hear your stomach rumb-” 

“Junhui, please!” Minghao pleaded. 

Jun sighed. “Gorgeous, just this one, please? They taste amazing and you won't gain anything other than nutrition. Please?” 

Minghao looked at the strawberry, and then into Jun's caring eyes. Then, for the second time today, Minghao gave in. He came to the realization that everything Junhui did was for Minghao. He couldn't stand to disappoint him time after time. So he opened his mouth slightly, and Jun almost immediately placed the fruit in his mouth, smiling and clapping like a small child. Minghao smiled as he chewed “You're literally a baby.” he muttered. 

“I'm okay with that,” Jun laughed. “I'm so proud of you!!” he cheered. 

Minghao nodded weakly and grinned. “What will happen if I have more?” he asked. 

Jun then began tapping his feet on the floor and smiled extremely wide, bursting with excitement. “Nothing bad!!!” he almost screamed. “You'll feel good and full and you'll be healthy!!!”

Minghao smiled as Junhui wrapped himself around Minghao. “You can eat your food now, Jun.” he mumbled. 

Jun smiled “Oh, yeah,” Jun pulled his plate towards himself and watched adoringly as Minghao ate. 

“You're so weird.” Minghao said, chewing a small piece of apple. 

Jun grinned “Yeah…” he trailed off, not paying attention to what Minghao was saying, but rather, what he was doing. “I love you.” Jun said without thinking, then jumped at his own words and covered his mouth. 

“I love you, too.” Minghao laughed. “What, did you think I wouldn't say it back?” 

“No it's just, I love you a lot so I didn't want to mess anything up by saying it too early.”

“Well I love you so it's okay.”

“I love you more.” Junhui sang, clocking head head to one side. 

“Now you're ruining it.” Minghao mumbled.

Jun smiled softly, “Okay, sorry.” Minghao was done eating after a few small pieces of fruit, so the apartment was filled with noises of Junhui’s fork hitting his plate. “Minghao?” he called, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah?” he returned. 

“I think we should live together.” Jun stated. 

“We've been together for like 6 months.” Minghao started. “Don't you think it's too soon?” 

Jun nodded. “It is early but I think it works out well for us. I come here all the time and then this way I can be here for you more often.”

Minghao sat up and angrily said “Junhui! I'm not some baby who you need to feed and comfort all the time!”

Jun grinned. “You're right, you're not. But you're my prince.” He said with a cheeky smile on his face. “It's my responsibility to make sure you're happy.”

Minghao looked at Jun and sighed. Junhui was amazing and ways knew exactly what it say and what Minghao wanted to hear. He was perfect. It was awful. “Okay. Then let's do it.”

Jun clapped in excitement. “Okay! Your place or mine?”

Minghao looked around his apartment and sighed. “This place is kind of depressing now. I've never been to yours but I'm sure it's better than this.”

Jun was shocked at Minghao's comments. “Really? But you barely leave, I thought you loved this place.”

“I don't stay here because it's nice in here, I stay here because it's shit out there. I just, don't like being out by myself.” Minghao mumbled. 

“Okay, Hao.” Jun then stood up, kissed Minghao's forehead, and took both their dishes into the sink to wash them.

However, just as Junhui turned the tap off after washing the dishes, he heard the toilet flush from Minghao's bathroom. Junhui brushed his hands dry and walked into the bathroom - as the door had been left open. Jun wished he could say he was surprised when he saw Minghao sitting in front of the toilet, with all the toilet seats down, resting his head in top of it. “Hao?” he gently called. 

Minghao looked up at Jun and sniffled “Yeah?” he quietly called back in shame. 

“Why did you do that?” Jun asked, sitting down next to him. 

Minghao shrugged, causing Jun to look at him slightly sternly. “I don't like strawberries. Or apples.”

Jun sighed sadly. “Okay. What do you like then?”

Minghao looked around, avoiding making eye contact with Jun. “I like… Water… And celery.”

Jun pursed his lips. “That's not going to help your body become better.”

“Jun, that's kind of the point.” Minghao mumbled. 

Jun pouted. “Hao, there must be something, right?” 

-

“Minghao!” Minghao's mother called from the kitchen. 

Minghao happily ran down the stairs and went up to his mom “Yes?” he called back. 

“I cut you some oranges!” she said enthusiastically. 

“I'm don't like oranges!” Minghao returned. “I just want to go play with my Lego!”

Minghao's mother laughed and picked Minghao up and placed him on the stool at the breakfast table. “Minghao, you only have to eat one for each year old that you are! And how do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?” she said as she placed three large orange slices on Minghao's plate. 

Minghao sighed. “Okay.” He began eating eating the oranges and his face immediately lit up. “These are really yummy! Can I have more?”

“Of course you can!” she said, placing more orange slice on Minghao's plate. “Haohao, look at this!” she exclaimed. She then pushed a piece of orange peel into her own mouth and flashed Minghao an orange peel smile.

Minghao then giggled and did it as well. The two of them then sat together and laughed at each other as the sun continued to set. “I love you, mom!” he said through the orange peel placed between his lips and his teeth. 

“I love you too, Haohao.” she replied. 

-

“Haohao?” Junhui called. 

Minghao shook himself out of his reminiscing and smiled softly at Jun. “I guess I like oranges.”

Jun clapped happily. “Okay! I'll buy you some then, okay?” 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter of my work! First, if you have any comments regarding Minghao's eating disorders, please look at the notes at the beginning. Also, I really hope you all don't think I'm romanticizing Minghao's eating disorder. I know that they're absolutely shit to have and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone I know. However, I placed it in the story to help strengthen the plot.  
> Thanks for understanding! And if you have any further concerns, don't hesitate to talk to me about it!


	2. Picnic Blankets and Orange Slices

Jun returned home from work one day, holding grocery bags of food in each hand. “Hao? I'm home!” he called happily. 

Minghao walked slowly towards the front door and smiled at Jun. “Hi.” he whispered as he hugged Jun. 

“Hello.” Jun smiled before kissing Minghao on the lips. “How was your day?” he asked, moving to the kitchen to put the groceries away. 

Minghao rested his chin on his hand on the table as he watched Jun. “It was good. Your apartment is really nice.” 

Jun laughed “Ah, thanks. Luckily, being a marine biologist pays the bills.” 

“Ah, okay.” Minghao smiled. Yet his smile soon faded into a look of curiosity as some foods went into the fridge and others into a wicker basket. “Jun… What are you doing?” he asked. 

“We,” Jun began, before added the final objects into the basket, closing it, and looking at Minghao. “Are going on a picnic.”

“Junhui-” Minghao began. 

“Minghao, please.”

“Junhui, I can't go outside.” Minghao said, terrified. 

“I believe that you can, you have to get out of the house someday.” Jun pleaded. 

“No, no, Jun please I can't do it.” Minghao continued, almost beginning to cry. “I don't want to outside Junhui I can't, please.”

Jun then walked around the breakfast table and swiveled Minghao in the stool he was sitting in so he could embrace Minghao. Jun hushed Minghao as he stroked his hair. “Listen to me, it'll be okay.”

“No it wo-” 

“Hey. Yes it will. And if you hate it we'll come back home and sit down and watch movies and I'll make dumplings and - maybe this isn't the best part but - they'll be really tasty and we’ll just have a good time, yeah?” 

Minghao pulled away and sniffled. “Okay fine.”

Jun then wrapped his arms around him and rested his own head atop Minghao's. “Thank you. You'll love it. And you can slap me if you don't.”

Minghao let out an exhale that served as both a sob and laugh - but was more of a laugh. “Okay.” he smiled. “Let's go then.”

… 

The two strolled hand-in-hand, Junhui holding a picnic basket in one hand and Minghao's hand in his other. Junhui happily swung their hands back and forth as they walked together. The sky was blue, the wind was light rustling the leaves of the trees, children were laughing, birds were chirping, Junhui was smiling, and Minghao was shaking in complete and utter fear. “Hao, are you okay?” Jun asked, now rubbing Minghao's and arm up and down. 

Minghao looked around, the looked back at Jun and shook his head. “I feel like they know.”

“What?”

“I feel like everyone's looking at me and they know that I can't even eat a fucking cracker and they're all judging me for it and I hate it.”

Jun nodded, “Don’t worry. No one thinks that.” He moved down to Minghao's hand and squeezed it gently. “It's okay, don't worry about it. I'll take care of you, okay?”

“Okay.” Minghao said, attempting to reduce his breathing patterns to a regular pace. 

Jun lightly but quickly pulled Minghao through a tiny, almost unnoticeable gap in the hedges, eliciting a tiny yelp out of Minghao's mouth. Jun then meticulously lead Minghao through branches until there was a sudden opening in the overgrowth. 

Minghao looked around and gasped happily, “This is like a fairy tale.” he whispered. In front of the two stood a lake, some park benches, vegetation growing through the cracks of a tall rock wall, and all sorts of flora and fauna, all spread apart throughout a large field. “How did you find out about this place?”

Jun lead Minghao to flat area of grass and prepared the picnic as he spoke. “My aunt used to live around here and she would take me here all the time. This used to be open to the public until 5 kids got kidnapped from here and they weren’t found until after the park was closed..” Minghao's eyes widened at that, Junhui took notice then continued. “Ah, but don't worry about it. The kids were found and the guy’s in jail. They just didn’t want to re-open the park to avoid social conflicts.”

“Okay.” Minghao responded, sitting next to Junhui on the picnic blanket on the ground. He watched as Junhui pulled some plates and foods out of the wicker basket. Minghao then saw Junhui pull a container of sliced oranges out the basket, causing Minghao to begin to softly hyperventilate in sad nostalgia. 

Junhui, noticing this, froze and looked into Minghao's eyes. “You alright?” he asked. 

Minghao nodded. “Uh, yeah. I'm good.”

“Okay good.” Junhui then placed orange slices on both of their plates and they both ate together and looked at the view in front of them. “Haohao, look at this!” Junhui exclaimed, flashing Minghao a bright orange peel smile. 

Minghao looked at Jun and felt his heart begin to race even more. The nostalgia was really killing him. “Junhui…” he began, sadly. 

“Yeah?” Jun responded, taking the orange peel out of his mouth. 

Minghao looked deep into Junhui’s caring eyes, and stopped himself from saying what he was going to. “You're cute.” he smiled. 

Jun giggled at that and scratched at his cheek. “Thanks.” he mumbled. 

Minghao then started to laugh softly. 

“What are you laughing at?!” Junhui half-yelled, yet still with a large smile plastered onto his face.

“You're getting shy~” Minghao teased. 

“No I'm not!” 

“Yes you are!”

“I'm not!” 

“You are!” 

“Am not!” 

“Are too!” 

“Hao, we could go on forever doing this.”

“Yeah you're probably right.” Minghao said, before leaning into Junhui's side and watching the few animals play in the large piece of land in front of them as he continued to eat his oranges. 

… 

The two of them sat on a rock that just hung over the lake as they dangled their fight forward and back in the water. “Jun?” Minghao asked. 

“Yeah?” Jun responded, looking at Minghao, but Minghao still locked his eyes onto the water below him. 

“I want to throw up.”

Jun sighed. “Minghao, I understand you but please, not today. Just for today? Can you do that?” 

“Hui, I can't, I'm scared.”

“Okay.” Jun said, then pulled his legs out of the water and crossed his legs to face Minghao. “What are you scared of?” 

Minghao stayed still but began to speak. “Every time I eat, I'm scared that I'm going to gain weight. I'm scared that I'll gain like three hundred pounds and I'll have to use a special moving chair or whatever and I won't be able to do anything by myself and I'll be all gross and ugly and then because of all of that you'll leave me because I'm a problem.”

Jun wrapped his arm around Minghao's side and pulled Minghao in close to him. “Minghao, none of that is going to happen.” he gently moved Minghao's body to face him, and lifted Minghao's chin so he could meet his eyes. “Listen to me. Firstly, I'm never going to leave you. Not even if the fucking queen of England-” 

“Well yeah you're gay you wouldn't marry the qu-”

“Hey! Listen!” Jun laughed. “You are more important to me than any amount of people or money or anything and I can't even describe how amazing you are in words. There's only one thing I could ever even imagine changing about you because you're so perfect. And you know what I'd change?”

“What?” Minghao asked nervously. 

“I'd make you realize how perfect you are. Maybe then you'd eat whatever would make you happy to eat and you'd be a little more happy with everything.”

Minghao then looked at Junhui. “Maybe I can do that, for you.” 

“Then when you're done with that you can do that for yourself, too.” Jun smiled. 

Minghao then smiled back at Junhui and press their lips together as Jun smiled into the kiss. “Maybe.” he mumbled, tracing small patterns into Jun's chest.


	3. Kisses and Promises

Minghao woke up alone, in the middle of the night, and full of anxiety for the first time in weeks. He looked around for any sign of Junhui or perhaps a note, like every other morning, but there was nothing. “Junhui!” he called out, his heart rate increasing by the second. Yet, silence followed. Minghao got out of bed and looked around the apartment but still, nothing. He called Junhui’s cell phone, but Jun left his phone on the coffee table. Minghao then began to cry. Finally, he had one more idea. He pulled back the curtains and stepped onto the balcony. There, Junhui leaned against the ledge, drinking green tea. “Junhui!” Minghao screamed. 

“Minghao, what's wrong?” Jun called as Minghao hugged him. 

“You can't do that to me ever again!! Ever!!!” Minghao yelled. 

“Hao, what did I do wrong?” Junhui asked, wrapping one arm around Minghao's torso. 

“You left me!” 

Jun sighed. “Hey, babe, breathe. I wouldn't leave you. Besides, why did you react like that?”

-

Minghao woke up in the middle of the night after having a scary nightmare. Seeking comfort, he walked into his parents’ bedroom. His dad was, well, gone, so he was really just looking for his mother. But, the bed was empty. “Mom!!!” he screamed over and over, looking around the house. He searched without stop, but he couldn't find her, until he opened to bathroom door and saw her. 

-

Minghao sighed as he rested the side of his face on Jun's chest. “I don't know, it's just, something happened and I'll, I'll just tell you later okay?”

“Okay.” Jun nodded. “Don't worry about it next time, when have I ever left here without letting you know?”

“I get it. Sorry.” Minghao sniffled. 

“Don't be sorry. Come on, let's go to bed.”

…

“Good morning.” Jun sang, walking into the bedroom holding a tray of various breakfast foods and drinks. 

“Good morning.” Minghao called back, sitting up in bed. Minghao then picked up a white pill he had set aside on his bedside table and took it with a sip of water. 

“What's that, Minghao?” Jun asked. 

“Painkiller.” Minghao lied. Well, it was partly true. 

“Oh, okay. I hope you feel better soon, then.” Jun set the tray down on the bedside table and sat down on bed with Minghao. He grabbed Minghao's face and squished it softly, then fixed Minghao's bed head and kissed his forehead. “You're cute.”

Minghao groaned and stretched his arms, then plopped them back down to his sides and slouched down again. “Give me the oranges.”

Jun giggled as he placed the tray on the blankets between the two of them. “Bon appetit!”

“Your French is shit.” Minghao giggled, biting into a slice of orange. 

“Yeah…” Junhui trailed off, laughing.” I made you tea, too. And some watermelon because I know you like that too.” Jun said before taking a sip of his own tea. 

Minghao smiled. “Thank you.” 

“And,” Jun began. “I know this is a change but, you can go to the bathroom now but I want to make sure you don't go to the bathroom for an hour after you've eaten.”

“But Junhui-” 

“Hao, baby, I do everything I do because I care about you and I want to you to get better. Can you do this for me, please?” Jun mumbled while rubbing Minghao's arm. 

Minghao sighed, “Okay, fine.”

“Thank you so much, Hao. I love you a lot.” 

“I love you, too.” Minghao responded, chewing on some watermelon. 

“Hey,” Jun said before swallowing his food. He then swallowed, then continued. “Do you want to come to my work today? We have tons of cute animals, I'm sure you'd love to see them.” 

Minghao sighed, “Sure. I mean I get to interact with animals, not people, right?”

Jun laughed. “Yeah, no social interaction for today.”

“Perfect.”

…

“Are you ready?” Jun asked as he buttoned up his own lab coat. 

Minghao smiled back at Jun excitedly “Yes!” he exclaimed. 

Jun giggled at Minghao's excitement. “Okay, follow me.” he said. Then, Jun grabbed Minghao's hand and lead him through two doors which opened to a huge room of tanks, x-rays, and crazy medical equipment. 

Minghao looked around in happiness and in awe as he clung to Jun's arms as they both walked through the laboratory. “Junhui, this is so cool!”

Jun laughed, “I'm glad you like it.” 

“I love it!” 

Jun lead Minghao over to where a woman was studying one of many x-rays hung on the wall. “Here is part of the rehabilitation centre - where we study the animals’ health. Here are the x-rays. This one here,” Jun said, pointing to the closest x-ray to them, “is Imala. She's a polar bear with a broken rib, which you can see here.” he said, pointing to a large noticeable crack in a few bones. 

Minghao pouted at that, “Can we go see her?”

“Of course!” Jun responded. “We'll get to her eventually, okay?” Minghao nodded in response, and Jun continued his ‘V.I.P. tour’ as he called it. “And here is Thor.” Jun pointed to a dolphin in a large tank who was swimming quite strangely. 

“Why Thor? And what's wrong with him?” Minghao asked, resting his head on Junhui’s shoulder as they both watched him swim. 

“We named him Thor because he was found during a thunderstorm. He had thick plastic packaging wrapped around his fin when we found him.” Jun then stood behind Minghao and held his shoulders as he lightly turned him to see Thor’s damaged fin. “Do you see it?”

“Yeah, I do.” Minghao whispered, watching intently. 

“Are you okay?” Jun asked, turning his head to face Minghao. 

“Yeah,” Minghao replied. “I hope he feels better soon.” 

Jun kept his eyes on Minghao and agreed. “Yeah, me too.” The two then began to make their way to another separate section of the laboratory. As Jun opened the doors, a variety of new and strange animal sounds could be heard. Anything from pelicans to otters were making the strangest of sounds. “And here, is Imala.” Jun said, standing in front of a glass pane. “Do you want to meet her?” 

Minghao looked at Jun with a sparkle in his eyes, so Jun almost immediately showed Minghao into Imala’s enclosure. 

“Stay behind me.” he whispered.  
Minghao then stood behind Jun's back as he clung to him. “Hi, baby!” Jun called to Imala. Seeing Junhui, Imala turned to him and began to run towards him in excitement, but cut herself short from pain. Halfway there, Imala looked at Jun and began making noises that resembled crying. “Hey,” Jun called softly. “Be careful.” he said to her, kneeling down and checking her ribs for any signs of injury. 

Minghao trailed behind and watched the situation unfold. “How did she get hurt?” Minghao asked. 

Jun smiled sadly as he looked at Imala, who was snuggling into Jun's legs. “We really don't know. We found her in Antarctica, and she was just bleeding, lying on her back. So we took her in to check on her and we found that she had a broken rib. Then they sent her here and I've mainly been taking care of her ever since. And she's not, you know, attacking you right now because she's full and you're wearing my clothes so you smell like me.”

Minghao pouted then kneeled down next to Jun. “Poor baby.” he mumbled. “And yeah I'm glad she's not eating me alive right now” The two of them laughed at that statement. 

… 

“And the last one I want to show you is Galaxy.” Jun said, leading Minghao into a small exhibit where only penguin was, staying alone in his enclosure. 

Galaxy weakly waddled over to Jun and Minghao and made calls of happiness as Jun pet him lightly. “Galaxy is a Galapagos Penguin and he's been here since he was born. His mom had some sort of brain damage. I'm not sure how we found it out but it was really interesting. We brought her back and found out she was actually mentally ill so we decided to keep her here." 

“Oh.” Minghao sighed.

-

“Mom?” Minghao called from the hallway, peeping into the master bedroom. 

Minghao's mother immediately straightened herself up, pulled her sleeves down, and wiped her tears. “Yes, sweetie?” 

“What are you doing?” Minghao asked, taking notice on the areas where red bled through his mother's sleeves. 

“Oh, nothing. I was just, opening these boxes with the knife here and I wasn't careful enough.”

Minghao crossed his arms. “You told be to be careful with knives, so you should be careful too!” 

“You're right sweetheart, I'm sorry.” she apologized. 

“It's okay.” Minghao smiled. “But please be careful, okay?” 

Minghao's mother smiled in response. “Okay. Now let's go to bed, okay?” 

“Okay mom!” Minghao said happily. 

-

“Then, one day later she laid her egg and there Galaxy was. His mom died soon after Galaxy was born. The most heartbreaking thing is, Galaxy here has trouble eating.” Jun said sadly, looking down at Galaxy, who was sadly pacing around. 

“Yeah, poor Galaxy.” Minghao whispered. 

“You okay, babe?” Jun asked Minghao. 

Minghao slapped a fake smile on his face and nodded. “Yeah. I just. I really hope he gets better soon.” he said, as Jun left some food for Galaxy to eat and they both left his enclosure.

“Me too.” Jun said, but he was only looking at - and thinking about - Minghao as he heard those words.

“I love your job, Jun.” Minghao started. “I think what you're doing is really great.”

Jun smiled. “Ah, thanks. I just want to help all these animals. Because they might be sick but beneath all of them is some warm little cutie that just wants to love and be loved, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know.” Minghao nodded, he then moved to kiss Junhui, and Jun kissed back willingly. 

They stayed there, kissing for a while, but the longer they kissed for, the louder the strange animal noises got. Junhui was the first to stop, staying close to Minghao and laughing softly as he bit his lip and looked around. “Sorry Hao, I think they're getting jealous.”

“Oh really?” Minghao asked in disbelief. 

“Oh yeah.” Jun said. Then, he looked at Apollo, another penguin, who was pecking furiously on the window of her exhibit while looking at him and chuckled “Apollo, you know you're still my number one.” he said, smiling at her.

Minghao laughed and pretended to be offended. “I'm not your number one?!” he exclaimed. 

Jun then hugged Minghao happily and whispered “Yes you are, but don't tell Apollo.”

“Okay I won't.” Minghao happily whispered back. 

… 

When the two returned from the labs, Minghao was very itchy and tired, so he sat down on the sofa. 

“Hao, is there anything you need?” Junhui asked.

“Uh yeah, actually. Can you get me the allergy medication from the bathroom cabinet behind the mirror? I think I'm having a small reaction to something from your lab.” Minghao asked.

Jun smiled. “Okay, stay here, I'll be right back.” Jun then walked over to his bedroom and opened the cabinet behind the mirror above the sink. He pulled out the box of allergy medication, but after a closer inspection, he found an unfamiliar orange bottle with Minghao's name on it. So, Jun picked that bottle up as well. Jun returned to the living room and gave Minghao the allergy medicine and then poured him a glass of water. 

“Thank you, Jun.” Minghao mumbled. 

“Yeah,” Jun grumbled under his breath. 

“Jun?” Minghao asked with curiosity in his voice. “Are you alright?” 

Jun stood in front of Minghao who sat on the sofa and scratched the back of his neck as he looked down. “Uh, yeah, I just found something.” Minghao then watched as Jun pulled out the small orange bottle of white pills. “Hao, what are these?” 

-

“Mom?” Minghao called. 

Minghao's mom then walked into the kitchen, where Minghao was sitting in front of the open medicine cabinet. “Yes, sweetheart?” she replied.

Minghao then pulled a large bottle of medicine out of the cabinet and asked: “What are these? I haven't seen them before.”

Minghao's mother smiled as she softly took the bottle from Minghao's hand. “They're my happy-pills.”

“Really?” Minghao asked in wonder. “That's cool. Can I have one?” 

Minghao's mother laughed. “Ah, no, you don't need them. You're already my happy little sunshine, Haohao.”

-

Tears began to fall down Minghao's cheeks as he knocked his head down in shame. 

“Haohao?” Jun asked before dropping to his knees and placing Minghao's head in Jun's own hands. “Babe, what's wrong?” 

Minghao sniffed as he met eyes with Jun's. “They're,” he sharply inhaled, then continued. “They're my, my happy pills.”

“Hao?” Jun asked, rubbing his thumb along Minghao's cheek and wiping his tears. “Are those antidepressants?” 

Minghao just blinked out more tears and nodded at that. 

“Oh, Minghao…” Jun said, moving to hug Minghao as he cried into the curve between Jun's neck and shoulder. “You can tell me anything, okay?” Minghao nodded against Jun's body at those words. “Why are you crying?” he asked. 

Minghao pulled away and shrugged “My mom… she used to… have th-” Minghao stopped himself short. He wasn't ready to say that yet. “She used to tell me I was her sunshine, and I hate that I'm not as happy as I used to be.” he continued, and those words were still true. 

“Minghao, you're my sunshine.” Jun whispered, stroking the back of Minghao's head. 

“No I'm not. I'm just a pain in the ass.” Minghao mumbled collapsing back onto Jun. 

Jun sighed, then moved to sit with Minghao on the couch. Jun sat behind Minghao and wrapped his arms around Minghao as his back was pressed against Jun's frontside. “Why would I stay with you if I thought that was true?”

Minghao shrugged, then sobbed. “Because you pity me and you know I'd literally die without you.”

Jun then placed kisses all over Minghao's neck, shoulders, arms, and really just anything he could get his hand on. “Minghao, you're my everything. And you know,” he said between kisses. “I'd die without you. Your smile makes my heart race and every time you laugh I'm pretty sure you take 5 years off of my life. You are the most beautiful piece of art I've ever seen. You are the sweetest, kindest person I've ever come to know. I know you haven't been as cheerful as you used to be a few years ago, but you'll get better. And I wouldn't dare to leave you before you get better. Or afterwards, really. I'm never going to stop sticking by your side, I promise. And don't forget that. **You're my sunshine, Haohao. I'd never leave you.”**

-

“Mommy, I'm scared. Don't leave me.” Minghao whispered, clinging to his mom's arm. 

“Of course. I'll stay here for as long as I can.” Minghao's mother said, looking out at the thunderstorm. 

“Really?” Minghao asked burying his face into his mother's side. 

“Of course, sweetie.” she said, hugging Minghao from the side. **“You're my sunshine, Haohao. I'd never leave you.”**

-

Minghao then immediately pushed himself off of Jun and stood up as he began to hyperventilate. 

Jun the stood up too, but still kept his distance from Minghao in case he needed his own space. “Haohao, what's wrong?” he asked. 

Minghao sobbed, walked towards Jun, and cried into his chest. “You can't leave me.” 

Jun hugged Minghao back as Minghao cried even harder into Junhui’s chest. “I won't, baby, I just promised you that I wouldn't. Are you alright?”

Minghao cried as he shook his head. “No matter how much you promise me, I'm always gonna be afraid. I don't care about promises. Promises are bullshit.”

“Minghao. I understand what you're saying but listen to me. I don't know who broke promises with you in the past, but when I make promises, I never break them. Ever.” Jun said in an attempt to comfort Minghao. “You got that?” 

Minghao nodded. “Okay, Jun.”

“Good.” Jun whispered. “Because I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	4. Tears and Thunderstorms

“Hey, Jun!” Minghao called cheerfully from the sofa.

“Hi, Hao.” Jun returned sadly. _Those antidepressants must work really well_ Jun thought to himself. 

“Junnie, what's wrong?” Minghao asked, motioning for Jun to join him on the sofa. 

So Jun did, and when he sat down he almost began to cry. “Minghao…” he trailed off. 

Minghao moved towards Jun so he could hug him. “What happened, babe?” Minghao asked. 

Jun sniffed. “Galaxy… died today." he said, letting a few small tears fall - but not sobbing. He had to be stronger, for Minghao. 

“Oh no,” he said, holding Junhui tighter. “I'm so sorry, Hui. What happened?”

Jun pulled away and looked at Minghao. “Malnutrition.” he muttered. 

“Oh.” Minghao whispered. 

“Yeah.”

A few moments of silence passed. “I'm sorry, Jun.”

“It's not your fault.” Jun returned. 

“No, I'm sorry for something else.” 

“What's wrong?” Jun asked. 

Minghao inhaled. “I think we should break up.”

Jun's entire world fell apart at those words. No words in any language could express how horribly Junhui’s heart ached at that. “Minghao…” was all he could mutter before he crumbled into tears. “Why?” he hiccuped. 

“I love you, but-”

“Then don't leave me if you still love me!” Jun almost yelled. 

“Hear me out. I love you, but what if what happens to Galaxy happens to me? I don't want to hurt you.”

“Jesus Christ.” Jun said, wiping his tears and calming down. “That's what this is about?” he asked, and Minghao nodded. “Oh my God, Minghao, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm never going to stop loving you until you believe it? Minghao I literally don't give a fuck about that. I love you so fucking much and I'd rather die than leave you.”

“But Junhu-” 

“Yeah, I know you're going to die _one day_ and I'm not going to lie, that's going to fucking ruin me. But I'd rather be with you the whole way there. And, you never know when you're going to die. I'm here to help you. I'm certain that you're going to get better because I won't stop trying to help you. ”

“Jun, I used to think that the hardest thing I'd ever do is heal. But I think the real thing is healing alone.” Minghao whispered. 

“Then I'll make sure that won't happen.” Jun mumbled. 

“Holy fuck.” Minghao sighed. “What would I have done if we broke up?” 

“I don't know. But _I'd_ probably die inside.” Jun laughed. 

“Me too.” Minghao whispered. “And um, because of that, I've decided something.”

Jun looked down to Minghao's face. “And what's that?” 

“I want to get better. Because I think I understand the fear of losing someone, especially when you're so close to losing them. And I can't put you through that anymore. And I'm not afraid anymore.”

Jun let out a happy sob. “Thank you, Minghao.”

…

“Hey, Hao. I'm home!” Jun cheerfully called. 

Minghao had panic in his voice as he said “Oh okay, I'll be right there.” Minghao then washed his hands and wrists and ran out into the front room. “Junhui! Where were you!” Minghao asked in fear and slight anger. 

“I was at work?” Jun responded, confused. 

“Oh my God, Jun, it's so late why didn't you call me?” Minghao scolded Jun. 

“Babe, relax. I was with Imala, I couldn't contact you.” Jun said, taking his shoes and jacket off. 

“I thought you were dead!” Minghao cried. 

“Minghao I think you're overreacting.” Jun mumbled, moving towards Minghao, but Minghao stepped away. 

“Don't say that! You terrified me!” 

“Minghao? Why are you reacting like this? I just had to work overtime it's not that big of a deal.” Jun mumbled. 

“Not that big of a deal?! Oh my God don't even get me started!”

Jun was taken aback by that. “What do you mean? I'm sorry that I was at work all day but I had no control over any of it!”

“But you know I get anxious!”

“Yes, baby, I know. But listen, I was just doing my job and you can't get mad at me for that.”

“I'm sorry but I was horrified!” 

“Minghao, what's wrong.” Jun asked, although it was more of a demand. 

“What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. My life. All this shit is so fucked up! First my dad died in a car crash as I watched him die. And then I'm left with just my mom and I in the house and oh wait she was depressed but she doesn't let that affect me, right? Wrong. I'm 7 fucking years old when I find my mom dead with slits in her wrist on the bathroom floor. My mom fucking _killed herself_ and left her body for me to find! Who does that to their son? So I called the neighbours and they called the ambulance but everyone already knew she was fucking gone. So then I move in with my grandma, the only smidge of family I have left in my life and then three days after my eighteenth birthday my grandma drives herself off a cliff on her way back from work one day because life is nothing but fair and evidently, depression runs in the family, right? And they all said they would stay, but they didn't, so maybe that's why it hurts so much when you tell me you will, too!”

Jun just sadly watched as Minghao continued speaking and breaking down. 

“So then there I am living alone for four years until I meet you! Junhui you're my prince, as much as I am yours. You fucking saved me from all the shit in my life. And the only reason we met is because I was going to fucking kill myself that day and I wanted to do it in peace, somewhere away from home. You make me feel alive! I'm 23 years old and now I finally feel free! And you are the fucking light of my life and you're the closest thing to family that I have left! So yeah, forgive me for being overbearing but I can't lose you, too.” Minghao sighed, crying, with his back against the apartment window. 

Jun and Minghao both stayed in silence, Junhui was speechless and Minghao was too broken down to speak. Jun slowly walked towards Minghao as Minghao stayed in place. Yet, a loud crack of thunder came from outside causing Minghao to jump away from the window in fear and let out a small yelp. Jun then enveloped Minghao in his arms and motioned for them to sit on the ground together. Minghao began to hyperventilate so Jun hugged him tight and whispered into his ear. “Hey, shh, I got you, okay?”

Minghao nodded against Junhui’s chest. “Okay.”

“Haohao?” Jun called. “Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier?”

“I just, couldn't.” Minghao whispered. 

“Okay, but you can tell me anything, anytime, okay? It's important that I should know these things, yeah?” Jun asked. 

“Yeah.” Minghao nodded. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be sorry. Just, tell me these sorts things that are bothering you, just so I know.”

“I will.” Minghao said, then jumped at the flash of lightning through the window, then a crack of thunder as the room was filled with darkness once again. This caused Minghao to then push himself closer to Jun - if that was even possible, and grip tightly onto the fabric of Jun's shirt. 

Jun felt his heart flutter. As sad as the situation was, Jun couldn't help but find Minghao adorable in this situation. “Why are you afraid of thunderstorms, Hao?” Jun wondered. 

“They're just really loud and scary. Also, my dad crashed the car during a thunderstorm.”

“I'm sorry. I'll protect you, then.” Jun said. 

“That was really cheesy and dumb.” Minghao teased, his words muffled by Jun's shirt in his face. 

Jun laughed softly at that. “Alright, sorry.” 

Minghao pulled his head away from Jun's body and lifted his hand to stroke Jun's hair, “It's alright.”

Jun smiled, then his eyes shifted to Minghao's hand, then his bare wrist, which his fallen sleeve was covering previously. “Baby?” Jun softly called out. 

Minghao didn't notice what Junhui did, so he just smiled back and said “Yeah?” 

Jun then slowly moved his hands to grab both of Minghao's hands and held them as they sat across from each other. “Can you show me your wrists, please?”

Minghao looked away “Oh, no it's fine.”

“You're gonna have to show me in order for me to believe that.” Jun said, looking at Minghao. 

Minghao then slowly and sadly pulled both of his sleeves up one by one, revealing one clean wrist and another lined with horizontal scabs.

“Minghao…” Jun said, running his hand up and down Minghao's left wrist ever so softly.

“I fell.” 

“Stop lying. Why?”

Minghao shrugged. “It all just, fucking hurts. Everything hurts, Junnie. I can't take it.”

Jun then pulled Minghao's wrist up to his mouth and softly kissed each individual scab and scar. “Listen to me, I'm here to make everything easier for you, okay?” he said in between kisses. 

“Yeah but this is something you can't help with.” Minghao stated. 

“I will do whatever, and I mean whatever, it takes if it means you'll get better.” Jun said, stroking Minghao's cheek with his free hand. “And, who on earth would dare to ruin such a beautiful piece of art like you?”

Minghao sighed. “Thank you, Jun.”

“And, can you promise me something?”

“What do you want me to promise you?” 

“That you'll do whatever makes you happy.”

Minghao sighed, then pondered. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	5. Puppies, Kisses and Puppy Kisses

“Minghao, wake up!” Jun sang, lightly bouncing on the bed as he was an all fours above Minghao.

Minghao groaned “5 more minutes.”

Junhui sighed, “Right now!”

Minghao turned in his spot “10 more minutes.”

“Hao-”

“One more hour.” 

“Minghao, no.” Jun laughed. 

“Junhuuuuiiiiii” Minghao moaned, followed by a string of strange noises that all lasted around 1 minute all together. 

“Yes?” Jun responded, now sitting on Minghao's thighs. 

“I'm tired.” Minghao grumbled, his face still buried in the pillows. 

Jun then reached over to grab a pillow from above Minghao's face and smiled at him as Minghao looked at him with droopy, tired eyes. “I'm tired of you!” he said jokingly. 

Minghao snatched the pillow from Jun's hands and threw it at Jun's face. “I could say the same about you.” he then sat up in bed and came face to face with Jun's smiling face. 

Jun kissed Minghao's nose and held both sides of his face. “Ah, finally, my sleeping beauty, my prince has awoken.”

Minghao squinted at Jun, then hit him with a pillow once again. “Shut up.” Minghao then got out of bed a freshened up as Jun watched him. 

“Well good morning, sunshine.” Jun said sarcastically as he chuckled, leaning back on the bed, looking at Minghao who was in the bathroom. 

Minghao was brushing his teeth and was still evidently tired as he turned to Jun and glared at him. “Why did I even have to wake up?” Minghao asked. 

Jun smiled as he walked up to Minghao to hug him from behind. “I'm going to take you somewhere.”

“But I don't want to-” 

“Shh. You'll love it. We won't have to talk to you many people, or at least you won't.” Jun said, resting his chin atop Minghao's shoulder. 

Minghao spit his toothpaste out and then looked Jun in the eyes. “Okay but if you're lying-” 

“I'm not, I swear.” Jun giggled. 

… 

“The animal shelter?” Minghao asked as they both walked out of the car. “Junhui why are we here?” 

“Yep.” Junhui said simply, putting his keys in the pocket of his jacket and holding Minghao's hand, leading the two of them to the building. “And why do you think we're here?” Jun asked. 

Minghao looked at Jun and immediately began exploding with excitement. “Junhui… are you serious?” he asked with a huge smile on his face. Jun laughed “Of course. I feel bad leaving you alone while I'm. So, we'll see if they have a dog that fits our lifestyle and we'll adopt them if you like, okay?”

Minghao was almost crying, “Okay!!” he responded excitedly. 

Jun giggled at Minghao and lead the two of them into the animal shelter. 

… 

“Well,” a lady with a clipboard and lots of paperwork said. “Given your current living arrangements, I think that our little friend here would be perfect for you two.” The lady then walked into a separate room and brought in a dog that Jun and Minghao fell in love with immediately. “Here is 慧星 (huixing), which translates to Comet in Korean.” she said

Comet was a 3 month old Volpino Italiano who immediately ran towards the two of them.

Minghao looked at her, smiled and fell to his knees. “Junhui oh my gosh.” he mumbled. 

Jun giggled and kneeled down to play with Comet as he looked at Minghao “Do you like her?” he asked. 

Minghao sighed in admiration. “I love her.”

“Let's adopt her then!” Junhui said as Comet was playfully licking Minghao's face. 

“Really?” Minghao snapped his head up and looked right at Jun. 

“Of course!” 

The next few hours were full of interviews and paperwork, and the two decided to adopt her that same day. Junhui had bought a bunch of stuff the day before so they were more or less ready. 

… 

“Welcome home, Comet!” Minghao announced as they walked through the front door, letting her cage down on the ground and opening it. 

Comet was hesitant, at first, to leave the cage. But, after a few minutes, she stepped out and showed herself around the apartment, and Minghao and Jun stood together, watching her. 

“Thank you, Junhui.” Minghao muttered, laying his head against Jun's chest as they hugged each other and watched Comet hop around. 

“Of course, my love. I told you I'd do anything to make you happy, right?” Jun smiled, shifting the two of them so that Minghao could sit on the stool by the counter and Jun could stand and continue to hug him. 

“Yeah, you did. Thank you, again.” Minghao muttered. 

Jun giggled “It was my pleasure.” Jun then scooped Minghao up from the chair he was sitting on, and Minghao yelped in response. 

“Jun! What are you doing?” he asked, giggling wrapping his legs around Jun's torso and his arms around Jun's neck. 

“Don't worry about it.” Jun returned, placing Minghao on his back on the sofa, just staring at him. Minghao then began kissing Jun deeply, and Jun gladly returned his kisses. 

Jun separated for a few seconds to look at Minghao and then say **“You're so amazing.”**

-

“Mommy!” Minghao happily yelled. 

Minghao's mother then walked into Minghao's bedroom smiled at him, “Yes, Hao?” 

“Look what I made!” he called happily, pointing to a large Lego structure.

“Wow, good job, Minghao!” she said enthusiastically. **“You're so amazing.”**

-

Minghao let out something between a moan and a groan in acknowledgement and slight discomfort as they continued kissing - attempting to push his memories aside. 

“No, I really mean it.” Jun said, stopping again. 

Minghao smiled in response, “I know.”

Jun grinned, “Good,” Jun then kissed Minghao again, **“Because I love you.”**

-

Minghao and his mother were lying together on her bed, their dog playing around with their feet, as she read a bedtime story to Minghao. “Mom?” 

Minghao's mother turned to face him in response. “Yeah?” she replied. 

“Are you going to stay with me forever?” he asked out of the blue. 

“Of course. Why are you asking?” she wondered, wrapping an arm around Minghao. 

Minghao shrugged. “I don't know. But why don't you go somewhere else? Don't you want to do other things? Why do you stay here?”

“Why do I stay here?” Minghao's mother repeated, and Minghao nodded in response. **“Because I love you.”**

-

Comet then began playing with Minghao and Jun's feet. Minghao tried to keep kissing Jun, but he couldn't. Their kisses gradually slowed down until Minghao said “No, wait- Junhui, stop, please.” and was gently pushing Jun off of him, covering his mouth from the sobs that begged to come out. 

Jun immediately stopped, sat up, and pulled Minghao to sit up too. “Baby, what's wrong?” he asked running his fingers through Minghao's hair.

Minghao looked at Jun, and sighed. “I miss my mom.”

Jun silently wondered why kissing Minghao would remind him of his mom, but he pushed that thought aside. “Hao,” he whispered “I can understand where you're coming from but didn't she, kind of, ruin your life?” Jun asked. 

Minghao nodded. “Yeah, but she was good while she was here. Sorry, it's just today. I don't know, I've just been having a weird day. Tomorrow I'll be okay. Today was just oddly nostalgic. I'm sorry. And I know you've been wanting to, you know, do this for a while.” Minghao motioned between the two of them and Jun understood. “But, not today.”

“Okay, Hao. I completely understand. And there's no rush. Whenever you're ready.” Jun said. 

Minghao nodded awkwardly “I am, you know, ready.” he muttered, his cheeks turning bright pink. 

“Yeah, me too.” Jun whispered, neither of them looking each other in the eyes. Yet, Jun soon looked at Minghao and giggled at the sight. “Your cheeks are like cotton candy!” he teased. 

“What?” Minghao returned, running his hand on his cheek.

“What do you mean ‘What’?” Jun responded. 

Minghao looked at Jun, “What's cotton candy?” he asked. 

Jun gasped in shock “You don't know what cotton candy is?” 

Minghao shook his head. “My world's been relatively small since I met you. I haven't done much with my life or gone anywhere.”

“You've never read about it in one of your books or watched it on TV?” 

Again, Minghao shook his head. 

“Hmm.” Jun replied. “Okay. I'm going to take you to the carnival in 3 weeks and we'll have some there?” 

Minghao nodded and giggled “Okay.”


	6. Carnivals and Cotton Candy

Jun opened the front door of the apartment and smiled at Minghao who was sitting on the floor, playing with Comet. “Hey, Minghao, happy one year anniversary!” Junhui called cheerfully.

Comet then ran to Jun's legs and started barking and wagging her tail. “And hi, baby!” he said, petting her. 

“Hey, Jun!” Minghao said, walking up to Jun to hug him. “Happy one year anniversary! Are we going to the carnival today?”

Jun smiled. “Of course. I promised you, didn't I?” Jun responded, rubbing Minghao's back. 

Minghao smiled. “Good! I'll go get ready.” He said, walking to the master bedroom. 

Junhui happily followed suit, “Me too. I probably smell like polar bear vomit, and I think you can guess why.”

“Yeah,” Minghao agreed “You smell disgusting.”

“Thanks, babe.” Jun retorted affectionately. 

Minghao smiled at Jun as he walked past him, and into the bathroom. “Anytime.” 

Jun took his shirt off and Minghao eyed him as he moved around the bathroom. Jun smiled, noticing this, and winked at Minghao - or he tried to. 

Minghao squinted at Jun “What are you doing?” 

“I'm just _flirting_ with my _boyfriend_ .”

“You look like you're dying.”

“Well I love you, too.” Jun responded in a sweet voice. Jun then pulled open the cabinet behind the mirror, looking for his face wash. “Hey, Minghao?” he asked. 

“Yeah?” Minghao responded, shuffling through his clothes in the dresser drawer. 

“You've had around the same amount of pills in your, uh, bottle for a while now.” He stated, but it was more like a question. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “I guess I'm like, saving them, or something.”

“Oh, okay.” Jun returned, not thinking too much about it.

“Okay!” Minghao walked up to Jun after a while. “I'm ready!” Minghao said cheerfully. 

Jun eyed Minghao up and down and smiled.“You look gorgeous.”

Minghao smiled, wrapped his arms around Jun's neck, and buried his face in between Jun's neck and shoulders to hide his blush. 

“Hao… you know, today it's been a year since we started dating. You're still shy?” he whispered as he hugged Minghao back. 

Minghao pulled back and lightly and playfully punched Jun in the chest. “Be quiet.” he whined. 

“Alright, sorry.” he jokingly apologized. Jun then kissed the top of Minghao's head, pulled on a hoodie, and then walked out of the bedroom. “Alright, let's go.”

Minghao put his shoes and coat on, and so did Junhui. “Comet!” Minghao called. Comet then ran towards Minghao and wagged her tail as she rested her front two paws on Minghao's legs. “Let's go!” he called softly. He then picked her up, and Junhui picked up a basket with a small portion of foods and toys. 

Minghao and Jun then dropped Comet and her supplies off at their neighbours next door, then made their way to the car to drive to the carnival.

…

The sun was just beginning to set as they arrived. “Minghao! Let's go on the ferris wheel and watch the sunset.”

Minghao laughed softly. “That's really cliché.”

“Nooo, please, you'll love it.” Jun attempted to convince Minghao, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

Minghao lifted his hand to hold Jun's hand on his shoulder. “Okay, sure then.”

Jun clapped in excitement “Okay, let's go!”

After waiting in line for a few minutes, Minghao and Jun were seated on the chair as the wheel began to rotate. Minghao then began to shake because of the cold, which Jun mistook for fear.

“Hey,” Jun whispered. He then lifted Minghao's chin and kissed him softly “Don't be afraid.”

Minghao giggled, “I'm not scared, I'm just cold.”

“Oh” Jun laughed, then looked down and scratched the back of his neck in shame. 

“It's okay. You can kiss me again, though.” Minghao muttered. 

Jun smiled at that that. “Okay, I guess I can grant you that favor.”

Minghao softly rolled his eyes before closing them. After he felt a cold wind brush against his cheeks, he pulled away and tapped Jun's arm. “Jun, look.” he said, and they both turned their heads to watch the sun set. Minghao held onto Jun's side and smiled as they both looked at the view. 

Sooner than later, the ride was over and for the next hour or so, they wasted a fair amount of money on those crazy, impossible-to-win carnival games - and only had a stuffed frog to show for it. 

After they had played almost all the games, Jun scanned the field, and a clear bag with a large, bright pink item inside of it caught his eye. “Minghao!” Jun exclaimed. “Come here!” he then pulled Minghao along behind him as they ran to the colourful kiosk. “Look, cotton candy!” he exclaimed. 

“Woah,” Minghao said in awe as he watched a man harvest cotton candy from the machine. “Can we get some?” he softly asked Jun. 

“Of course!” he smiled at Minghao. Jun then paid for one bag of cotton candy, and the two walked to a less jam-packed area in the park for then to sit together and eat it.

They arrived atop a hill/cliff that was in between a few trees and hung over a small lake. The area was surrounded by thick and tall trees, so they were completely out of sight of anyone. Minghao and Jun laid side by side, looking at the stars above them.

Jun opened the bag of cotton candy and held some in front of Minghao's mouth. Minghao opened his mouth and Jun placed the candy inside. 

“Woah.” Minghao said. “What the fuck?” he said. 

Jun laughed at Minghao's amazement. “I know right?” 

Jun turned to face Minghao as he continued to speak. “Like, holy shit. You put it in your mouth, and it tastes so good,” he began, pausing to put some more cotton candy in his mouth. “And then it's just, gone?? How wild.”

Jun giggled. “Yeah. And you can do this.” Jun said before straddling himself over Minghao. He then took a piece of cotton candy, split it into two, lightly licked the two pieces, and placed them on Minghao's cheeks so that the candy stuck to his face. “Now your cheeks are literally cotton candy.”

“Ugh!” Minghao exclaimed, yet still laughing. “Jun this is disgusting, fix it!” 

Jun then leaned down towards Minghao and ate the candy off of his face. 

Minghao groaned. “You're gross. And we literally have napkins and water. You could have gotten rid of it much more effectively.”

Jun chuckled. “Yeah but this way is better.” 

Minghao smiled at Jun. “You're really lame.”

Jun just nodded softly at that, too caught up in thought to respond. Jun then moved his eyes all over Minghao's face, then around his torso, then back to Minghao's own.

“Junhui, you literally could not be more obvious.” Minghao laughed before pulling Jun's face down towards his own. 

Jun smiled softly before deepening the kiss. He could then taste the cotton candy on Minghao's lips - or maybe it was his own, but he didn't really know, but he knew that he liked it. Minghao sighed out of content into the kiss. Jun then moved his hand to interlace it with Minghao's, which was right next to Minghao's head.

Minghao soon frowned into the kiss, so Jun pulled away to see Minghao scrunching his nose, still smiling. “Jun,” he whined. “I feel sticky.”

Jun laughed softly and reached for a water bottle that was next to Minghao. He then poured a small amount of water onto a napkin and wiped Minghao's cheeks clean. “Better?” Jun asked. 

“Yeah,” Minghao said through giggles. Jun then licked his lips as he looked down at Minghao, and Minghao definitely took notice of that. 

… 

Jun slightly fidgeted with the keys to the apartment, trying to unlock the door. Finally, he put the key into the keyhole, turned the key, and lead the two them inside. Once the door was open, Jun gently pushed Minghao's back to the door as he kissed him against it. Minghao wrapped his arms around Jun's neck and Jun's hands were running all over Minghao's body, slowly. They both then stopped for a minute to take their shoes and coats off, then to go to their bedroom. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jun asked, slowly crawling on top of Minghao as he laid on his back on the bed. 

Minghao swallowed, and then nodded. “Yeah.”  
“Okay,” Jun smiled. He then moved downwards Minghao's neck, and gently pulled at the hem of his shirt. Jun met eyes with Minghao as his own eyes asked for permission, so Minghao nodded. So, Jun slowly took Minghao's shirt off of his body. Jun almost gasped when he saw Minghao's body. His ribs were slightly poking out, and his arms were slim and slightly bony, yet no longer scattered with scabs. Minghao was definitely thin, but he was still a work of art, Jun thought.

Minghao was evidently self-conscious as he slightly squirmed in place. So, Jun took his own shirt off, too, and began softly kissing all over Minghao's body to remedy his insecurity, starting from his neck, moving down to his collarbones, then to his chest. Once Jun had reached Minghao's stomach, Minghao grabbed at Jun's shoulders softly and whispered out a small “Jun?” 

Jun lifted his head to look at Minghao, “Yeah?” he replied. 

“I- I've never- this is my first time.” he stuttered. 

Jun smirked. “I kind of assumed that.” 

“Jun, I'm scared.” Minghao mumbled.

Jun looked at Minghao and exhaled. “Do you want to do this?” he asked softly. Minghao thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Okay then.”

“And uh, me too. You're my first time, too.” Jun said. 

“No fucking way.” Minghao laughed. 

Jun smiled “Well yeah. I mean I was saving it for someone who I really loved. You're the first.”

Minghao just sighed and smiled at that.

Jun smiled, moving his hands down to Minghao's waistband. “It'll be alright, yeah?”

Minghao nodded frantically, then swallowed hard. “Do you have the uhh, stuff?” he asked. 

Jun nodded. “Don't worry about it, I'll take care of you, okay?”

Minghao grinned. “Okay.”

…

Jun collapsed down onto the bed right next to Minghao, both of them panting heavily. Minghao rested his head atop Jun's chest which was noticeably rising and falling quite quickly. “Holy shit.” Minghao whispered

Jun wrapped his arm around Minghao's shoulder, and laughed softly at that interjection. The room was then silent, save for the sounds of each of them breathing heavily.

“Jun?” Minghao asked, tracing his fingers along Jun's abs with one hand, and holding Jun's with the other. 

“Yeah?” Junhui returned, tracing the several dark purple marks left by him on Minghao's skin with his free hand. 

“You're 24. Why do you still have an outer space display on your ceiling?” he asked.

They both then laughed together as they looked up at the ceiling. “I just think it looks good.” Jun said, shrugging. 

Minghao's eyes then wandered over all the constellations. “It _is_ pretty.” Minghao admitted. 

Jun was staring at Minghao as he thought. “Yeah, really pretty.” he agreed. 

Minghao turned to Jun and smiled. “That was, like, the cheesiest thing ever.” Minghao jokingly complained. 

Jun just smiled back at that. “Okay, I'm gonna take a shower and then I'll go pick Comet up.” Jun then got up from the bed, picked up some clothes from the dresser, and made his way into the bathroom to take a shower. 

After he got out the shower, he winced slightly, but then smiled at the scratch marks left on his back by Minghao that he saw in the mirror. Jun then threw on his clothes and made a bubble bath for Minghao. Jun walked out into the bedroom and said: “Hao, I drew you a bath.”

“Thank you, Jun.” Minghao sighed, then looked at the bathroom door, then at Jun, then back at the bed.

Jun laughed. He could read Minghao like a book. “Minghao?”

“Yeah?” 

“Do you want me to carry you there?”

“Yeah…”

Jun laughed, then walked over to Minghao's side of the bed. Jun picked Minghao up princess-style and was almost surprised by how easily he could pick Minghao up. He walked to the bathroom and slowly lowered Minghao into the bathtub. 

“Bubbles?” Minghao asked with a smile on his face as he looked around. 

“Yeah.” Jun laughed in embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay, I'm going to go pick Comet up. I'll be right back.”

“Okay.” Minghao called out, playing with the bubbles. 

… 

Jun knocked on their neighbours door, and was greeted by an unfamiliar face. “Oh, hello.” he said.

“Hi.” she returned. 

“I'm here to pick up my dog?” he said cheerfully, as Comet ran to his legs and he pet her. 

“Oh, yes.” she smiled. “Your neighbours left so they asked me to come here and watch your dog. She's an angel.”

“She really is.” Jun held out his hand and said “I don't believe we've met, my name’s-”

“-Junhui.” she interrupted. “I'm Yerin.” she took Jun's hand and shook it. 

“Oh? They told you about me?” 

“Yeah.” she nodded her head. “But also I heard your name being practically screamed from your place by who I assume to be your boyfriend, yes?” 

Jun blushed and let out a nervous laugh. “Uh, yeah. I'm sorry.”

She laughed softly. “It's alright.” She then handed Jun his basket of dog supplies and Jun picked it and Comet. “See you later!” she said with a smile on her face. 

“Bye!” Jun said, returning the smile. 

…

Jun opened the door to their apartment, and set Comet down on the ground. Comet began running around the apartment and Junhui giggled as he watched her and put her belongings away. Comet then began barking, so Jun followed the noise into the master bathroom.

Jun looked down at what Comet was barking at and began giggling. “Minghao,” he laughed. “What are you doing?”

Minghao was lying in the bottom of the empty bathtub with a towel wrapped around him. “I'm cold.” he mumbled. 

“Why didn't you get out?” Jun asked, gently dropping to his knees in front of the bathtub. 

Minghao looked down at his hands were fidgeting with each other. “I can't walk.”

“Hao, you're gonna have to speak up.”

Minghao cleared his throat. “I- uh. I can't walk.”

Jun chuckled. “You flatter me.” he said before lifting Minghao up and taking him to drop him off on their bed. Jun then picked up one of his own hoodies and some of Minghao's pants and underwear and gave them to him.

After Minghao had finished putting his clothes on, Jun returned to the bedroom with two mugs of green tea. 

The two then drank tea and fell asleep while as they held each other and looked at the stars (on the ceiling.)


	7. Promise Rings and Notes Left Behind

Jun's phone went off at 6 a.m. sharp. Jun turned the alarm off and got out of bed happily while Minghao turned in bed and groaned. “Okay, Hao. I'm going to work but I'll be back soon, okay?”

“Mhm.” Minghao mumbled, nodding into the pillow. “Bye, I love you.”

“Love you too!” 

Minghao thought that Jun would be at home for the entire day, while really Jun was only dropping off his research papers and discussing the results with his co-workers, which would take 6 hours. Jun would be back soon. That was Minghao's first mistake - which ended up working out pretty well for him in the end. 

… 

After Jun had dropped his research papers off at work and spoke to his coworkers, he went to drive to the jewellery store to buy matching promise rings for Minghao and him. It had only been a year but Jun was sure that he wanted to be with Minghao forever. 

-

Meanwhile, 6 hours earlier, Minghao lazily threw his bed covers off of him and stumbled over to the bathroom. Minghao took his bottle of antidepressants out and took it back into the bedroom. 

… 

Jun chose two simple silver rings, and had a small heart engraved on the inside of each of them. Jun thought getting promise rings was kind of hasty, but he was sure that he wanted to be with Minghao forever. 

-

6 hours before that moment, Minghao shuffled through his sock drawer to find a letter he had written to Jun last night. He'd planned this for a few weeks, but he'd written the final draft last night. He walked over to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of water, then returned to the bedroom. 

… 

Jun paid for the rings with a smile on his face. Sure, the rings weren't cheap, but Jun was sure that he wanted to be with Minghao forever. 

-

Minghao looked at himself in the mirror and breathed heavily. He opened the bottle of his antidepressants and poured the last few that he had left into his hand. He threw the pills in his mouth, then poured water into his mouth too. Before he had a chance to think twice - he swallowed. 

… 

Jun drove home, a smile on his face from anticipation. 

-

Minghao stayed in the bedroom, pacing forward and back a bit in anticipation. 

…

Jun parked the car, and stayed there for a bit, thinking about what to say. He was unsure of what exactly to say, but Jun was sure that he wanted to be with Minghao forever. He knew he'd say the right thing. 

-

Minghao, after 6 hours of waiting, collapsed onto the ground, the note still in his hand. Comet walked in, inspecting Minghao's body.

…

10 minutes after Minghao had collapsed, Jun walked out of the elevator and heard, who he assumed to be, Comet barking loudly and constantly. He speed-walked to the apartment and unlocked the door as soon as possible.  
Comet ran to the front door and barked at Jun to get him to follow her. Jun almost ran to where Comet was leading him to, and froze for a moment, then collapsed onto his knees at the sight. 

“Minghao? Minghao, baby, please!” Jun felt Minghao's neck for a pulse as tears gathered in his eyes. He saw the empty bottle of Minghao's medication on the dresser and shook his head. After he could barely find a pulse, tears streamed down Jun's face as he called the ambulance. 

After he made the call, he put his phone on his pocket and his shaky hands moved to Minghao's body as he began to sob. “What the fuck?” he asked himself, crying, holding onto Minghao's hand. Jun put a hand over his mouth to silence his sobs, but they kept getting louder and stronger by each passing second. Jun noticed the note in Minghao's hand and placed it in his pocket, too hurt to read it right now. Jun placed one hand on Minghao's pale cheek after pulling Minghao up onto his body. Jun's tears fell off of his own cheeks and onto Minghao's as he cried relentlessly. “Minghao…” he whispered, stroking his face. “Please,” he sobbed. “Don't leave me.” Jun paused to look at Minghao's face, and take in all of his beauty for what he thought would be the last time. “You can't do this to me.”

…

Jun sat in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for anyone to tell him anything about Minghao. He pulled Minghao's note out of his pocket and read it to himself. 

_Dear Junhui, my prince,_

“ _fuck_ ” Jun thought to himself. He wouldn't be able to read this without breaking down. So, he went to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall to continue reading it. 

_You are my stars, my moon, and my universe. As much as I was your prince (which you told me a lot)_

Jun let out a short laugh at that. 

_You were my prince, too. Being with you was like heaven. You treated me like a prince, and with that you made me feel like you were the most flawless prince ever. You are the sweetest, kindest person I've ever come to know. I don't deserve you, my prince._

Jun sighed and whispered “I didn't deserve _you._ ” to himself. 

_Jun, my love, you saved me. You saved me from everything bad in my world. Every moment we were together, I knew that nothing bad was going to happen to me, because you wouldn't let it. But, alas, you couldn't save me from the most destructive, horrible thing in my life._

_Myself._

_I want you to move on, find someone who makes you happy. Please, find someone who treats you the way you treated me. But I doubt you'll find anyone as amazing._

_As much as I love you, I couldn't do it anymore. And, you always told me to do what made me happy, right? Well, to me, “happy” meant “less in pain.” So, I got rid of the pain, forever. Forgive me._

_I'm sorry I'm leaving you like this, but hopefully you'll be okay, in time. Hopefully._

_Yesterday was fun. Thank you for my last day of joy, something to remember me by._

_Junhui, my best friend, my love, my partner in crime, my knight in shining armour, my prince, thank you for everything. I love you unconditionally. I hope that you never lose our memories of orange peel smiles and cotton candy cheeks._

_I know I won't._

_Xu Minghao, over and out._

-

“Minghao! Over.” Jun yelled from the other end of the apartment, behind the kitchen counter. 

“What's up? Over.” Minghao asked peering around from a corner, looking at Jun. 

Jun looked at Minghao, too, and smirked. “I have eyes on the suspect. Over.”

“I think we should attack. Over.” Minghao said. 

“Okay. On three. Over.” Jun whispered. 

They both silently counted to three, but Minghao stayed back while Jun ran towards Comet, who then ran towards Jun, too. 

Jun made a dramatic scene and fell to the ground and screamed “Minghao! I could have gotten killed!” as Comet licked all over Jun's face. 

“Oh yeah.” he said, crossing his arms and walking over to Jun. “A true monster.” he said sarcastically, laughing at Jun who was on the ground, Comet jumping playfully around him. 

Jun screamed in fake-pain. “I could've died, Minghao!!”

Minghao then straddled Jun as he sat on his lap. “I'm sorry. I love you. Over.” he giggled.

Jun propped himself up on his hands and leaned in towards Minghao. “I love you too. Over and out.” he laughed, before filling the space between their lips.

-

Jun folded the note and put it in his pocket before he slammed his back against the bathroom stall door and covered his mouth as he began to cry again. 

… 

Jun didn't know how long he had been crying for before he saw a familiar face walk into the bathroom. Jun peeped through the crack in the door to see Wonwoo, washing his hands. Jun composed himself, wiped his tears, and walked out of the stall. “Hey, Wonwoo, what are you doing here?” He asked. 

Wonwoo turned around and smiled at Jun. “Hey, Jun! Yeah, Mingyu broke his leg, and his arm.”

Jun sighed. “Oh, how did he do that?” 

Wonwoo chuckled. “Long story short, he fell. Big surprise. Why are you here?” he asked. 

“Minghao tried to kill himself.” Jun said before breaking into tears. 

Wonwoo then awed “Jun, I'm so sorry.” he whispered before hugging Jun and letting his own tears fall, too. 

Jun hugged Wonwoo back as he sobbed. “Wonwoo,” he whispered, crying on Wonwoo’s shoulder. “It hurts, it hurts so bad!” he wailed.  
Wonwoo then encouragingly rubbed Jun's back up and down. “Shhh,” he whispered. “I know, Hui.”

Jun then sobbed again, “It's just. Fuck. I love him so- so much.” he hiccuped. “And now he's gone, and- and I can't do any- anything about it.”

Wonwoo nodded. “I know,” he said, “I know. You can always talk to me, okay?”

Jun wiped his tears with his sweater paws before he nodded. “Okay. Thanks. I think I'm going to head back now.”

“Anytime.” Wonwoo grinned softly. “Talk to you later.”

“Bye.” Jun mumbled before stepping outside of the door.

…

“Hello, sir?” a tall nurse asked Jun. 

Jun just simply lifted his head and looked at the nurse in response. 

“Are you Mr. Wen Junhui? Here for Mr. Xu Minghao?” the nurse asked. 

Jun nodded softly. “Yeah, I am.” 

“Would you like to see him?” he asked Jun. 

“Is he alive?” Jun asked without any emotion in his voice in response. 

“I'm sorry, but I really don't know. I'm just here to show you where to go.” The nurse said, flipping through the papers in his clipboard.

Jun sighed and then stood up. “But, uh, yeah, regardless, I'd like to see him.”

The nurse gave Jun a small smile. “Okay. Follow me.”

… 

Jun slowly opened the door to the room that Minghao was staying in, and when he saw Minghao, all he could do was walk towards him and cry.


	8. Apologies and Forgiveness

There he was. Minghao laid there on the hospital cot, with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, and all sorts of tubes going into his body. 

Jun slowly approached Minghao and stood next to his bed. He shakily went to touch Minghao's face. Jun hesitated to touch his face, as if Minghao was someone else. “Hey…” he whispered to Minghao's unconscious body, as he stroked his soft cheek. Jun smiled softly but still let tears fall from his eyes. “I miss you already.” He closed his eyes tight, pushing the tears out of them. “We only started dating a year ago and I'd forgotten what the world was like without you after we met.” Jun sharply inhaled. “And, fuck, if this is what it's like.” Jun shook his head. “I hate it.”

Minghao was almost unrecognizable. He looked tired, and pale, and his oxygen mask covered half of his face. Had Jun not spent hours, no, days. Actually, weeks, probably, all together, staring at his face, he wouldn't have been able to recognize it. 

Jun just stayed there, staring at Minghao's body for a few minutes before a doctor entered the room. 

“Hello.” she said, a sad smile across her face. “I assume you're Mr. Wen?”

Jun nodded softly and sniffled.

“Ah yes so we've found that Mr. Xu overdosed on tricyclic antidepressants at around 12:00 this afternoon,” she then checked her watch which displayed the numbers ***01:09** “Or _yesterday_ afternoon. So, we did the best we could, but…” the nurse trailed off. 

Jun then sighed and blinked out a few tears, predicting what the doctor was going to say. So, he dropped his head down and buried his head in his hands. 

“He's in a coma.” she stated. 

“Wait, what? So he's alive?” he asked, snapping his head up and meeting eyes with the doctor. 

The doctor smiled softly. “Yes. But we don't know when, or even if, he'll wake up. In fact, it's most likely that he won't wake up, ever.”

“Oh.” he sighed sadly. “So there's not really any point of my staying here then, right?” 

“I guess so, yeah.” the doctor nodded. “The hospital will give you a call when we find anything out. Alright?”

“Okay.” he grinned. “Thanks.” Jun walked over to Minghao and kissed his forehead as before whispering “Goodbye, my prince.” to him. 

Jun then walked down the colourless hospital hallways, into the colourless parking lot where his colourless car was. He drove down the colourless roads and colourful memories filled his mind. Jun looked out the car window at the park where the carnival was held. 

-

“Jun,” Minghao mumbled. “You're really shit at that.” he said, laughing and eating popcorn.  
Jun groaned “Well I doubt you could do any better!” he said, throwing another ball at a large milk bottle. 

Minghao then walked over to Jun, picked up a ball, threw it, and it landed perfectly inside the bottle. Then, he repeated the action two more times as Jun watched him in awe. 

The man running the booth walked up to Minghao and smiled. “Congratulations! Which prize would you like?” 

Minghao smiled as he said “The frog, please!” The man then handed Minghao a frog and he accepted it with a large smile. “You suck.” Minghao said to Jun, laughing. 

Jun laughed back, “You swallow.”

Minghao rolled his eyes. “You're the worst!”

“And I love you, too.”

-

Jun sighed as he continued driving home slowly. After 5 minutes, he passed by a McDonald's.

-

“Minghao.” Jun whispered. 

“What do you want?” Minghao whispered back. 

“I'm hungry.” Jun stated.

“Okay. Go eat.” Minghao said, turning away and smushing a pillow over his head. 

“No. Let's go somewhere.” Jun said, grabbing Minghao's arm. 

“Jun, it's 3 in the morning.” Minghao said, smacking Jun's arm off of him. 

“I'll buy you ice cream.” 

Minghao turned around and squinted at Jun. 

… 

Jun giggled as Minghao pushed a fry somewhere near Jun's mouth. “How could you _possibly_ miss my mouth?” he asked.

Minghao then pushed Jun's shoulder as he ate his own ice cream. “Shut up!” he laughed. 

Jun then leaned back onto Minghao and fed him a large fry, and Minghao smiled in response. Jun the smirked at Minghao and said “I guess you like the long ones.” He then successfully winked at him. 

Minghao groaned as he moved away from Jun. “You're unbearable.”

-

Sooner than later, he somehow arrived at the front door of his apartment without having had broken down into a million pieces. He unlocked the door, and Comet came running and barking to Jun. Jun smiled softly and pet Comet. 

Comet then searched the area around the front door, and then walked in circles around Jun's legs as if she was looking for something. Then she looked up at Jun and made high-pitched cries.

Jun went down onto his knees and pet Comet softly. “Sorry, baby. He's not here this time.” He said softly. Jun then sat down on the floor and Comet stood between Jun's legs, looking at him sadly. “I know, I'm sad too. But there's nothing I can do about it now.” he said. Tears fell from Jun's eyes for what felt like the hundredth time today. “And it's all my fault. I shouldn't have left him.”

Comet then looked up at Jun, stood up against him, and tried to lick his face in an attempt to make him happy. 

Jun smiled sadly at Comet. “Thank you.” he whispered to her. “Let's go to bed. You can sleep in our- my bed tonight, yeah?” He asked Comet.

Comet then followed Jun and hopped onto the bed as Jun tapped the bed twice. 

-

“I made you breakfast in bed.” Jun said, walking through the door. 

Minghao then smiled as he shook the hair out of his face. “Cliché, but I love it. Thank you.” he said, kissing Jun's cheek as Jun sat down with a tray of food on the bed. Minghao then looked at Comet and tapped the bed twice, and Comet immediately jumped up onto the bed. 

Comet began walking towards their food and Jun and Minghao laughed softly as Jun said “This isn't for you, sorry.” to Comet. 

Minghao then held her in his arms and lap as Jun went to get a chew toy for Comet. After he returned, the two ate breakfast together happily as they watched Comet play crazily with her toy. 

… 

Jun seriously didn't know how he even lived for the two weeks after the incident. His boss noticed his clear depressed state and gave him a 2 month paid leave. Jun was always a cheerful, hard worker and his drastic change in attitude was noticeable by anyone with eyes. Jun finally began to learn how to play the guitar that he'd bought a year back, but he only learned one song. A love song for Minghao. Jun took Comet out for walks twice a day. Jun didn't do much for himself, really. Wonwoo and Mingyu visited once, but only by force, almost. Wonwoo knew Jun well enough to know he needed help. Jun's life had lost all of its substance. Jun had lost all of his substance. He'd lost Minghao. 

Jun was no longer dysphoric, crying every day. He was empty.

Until he received a call from the hospital. Jun almost smacked the phone off the counter at the immense speed he jumped at to pick the phone up. “Hello?” he said. 

“Hello, may I speak to Mr. Wen Junhui?” the soft voice said. 

“Speaking.” Jun replied. 

“Ah, yes.” the voice began. “This call is regarding Mr. Xu Minghao. His doctor has requested for you to come in today, if that's not too abrupt.”

“No! It's not too abrupt. Is he awake?” Jun asked.

“Sorry kid, I just deliver the messages. I don't know.” the voice replied sadly. 

“Okay.” Jun stated. “I'll be there in 30 minutes.”

…

Jun opened the door to Minghao's hospital room and sighed. Minghao looked the same, and his eyes were still closed.

“Hello, Mr. Wen.” the doctor greeted, shaking Jun's hand. “I have good news regarding Xu Minghao.”

Jun smiled softly, ever so softly, for the first time in weeks. “What is it?”

“He woke up this morning.” she said, smiling.

It was almost like a shock of electricity ran through Jun's body. “Really? How's he doing?” 

The doctor nodded softly. “He's actually doing pretty well. He was very anxious and confused when he woke up but that's expected. He was crying hysterically, asking for ‘Junnie’ who we assumed was you. But, once he went to bed, he'd calmed back down. So, now, I'm going to swap his oxygen mask for oxygen tubes so you two can, well, you know. You've probably been thinking about it for a while.” she cheerfully said.

Jun nodded, laughing nervously. “Ah, yeah. And thank you so much. When will he wake up again?” he asked. 

The doctor smiled. “It was my pleasure. And we don't know.” she then took Minghao's oxygen mask off and put oxygen tubes in his nostrils. Minghao flinched slightly at the action, and that simple movement made Jun's heart race. “We've tried waking him up but he gets quite fussy and is quite persistent on going back to sleep.”

Jun chuckled. “Yeah. Sounds like Minghao.” Jun then walked over to Minghao after the nurse had left the room. Jun knew he should've let Minghao rest, but he lost all self control when he saw Minghao slightly smile in his sleep. “Minghao, it's time to wake up.” he whispered. 

Minghao groaned. “5 more minutes.”

Jun laughed and felt tears gather in his eyes. “Haohao.” he whispered.

Minghao cracked one eye open, then opened both of his eyes extremely wide. “Jun…” he whispered. Jun nodded softly as Minghao sat up towards him quickly.

“Hey, take it easy.” he whispered encouragingly. Jun then pressed some buttons which folded Minghao's chair slightly upwards so that Minghao could sit up as he began to speak. “I'm right here.” Jun then pressed their foreheads and noses as Minghao nodded slowly. “And I'm not leaving you, ever.”

Minghao sniffled. “Me either.” Minghao then tilted his head upwards so that him and Jun could kiss each other. 

_Jesus Christ_ Jun thought as his head spun. _Fuck. And to think I almost lost this? Holy shit._

After a few minutes, Jun pulled away and sighed. “Minghao, my love, why did you do that?” 

Minghao then sighed, and let the waterworks loose. “Junnie, I- I'm so so sorry.”

“Hey.” Jun stroked Minghao's face, and Minghao rested his face in Jun's hand. “It's okay. It's okay.”

Minghao sniffled and nodded against Jun's hand. “I- I just kept thinking about my mom and my grandma and I thought that this is what I'd be better off doing. I knew that they had rough pasts and were depressed and it was the same for me so I thought that I would be better off. But,” Minghao sharply inhaled and looked into Jun's eyes. “They didn't have their prince. I know I said you couldn't save me from myself but you could and you did. You did everything for me and I was so fucking selfish for ever thinking of leaving you. I was greedy. I thought I needed a job and tons of friends and a bunch of other shit for my life to have meaning. But really, I only needed one thing. I needed you, and I still do. They say that when you're dying, you think about all your regrets and amazing memories in your last moments. And Jun, you were in every single one of them. Junhui, you gave my life meaning. You are my everything and, as fucked up as everything in my life was, none of it fucking mattered because of you, my prince. None of any of my other bullshit mattered because whenever you touched me or looked at me or called me or texted me, I knew I was loved. And it took me fucking _killing myself_ to realize that you were all I ever needed. We made so many amazing memories in the past year and I can't believe I'd ever give any of that up. We watched movies and played stupid games and loved each other and hugged and kissed and got a dog and had sex and ate really good food and just, it was all so fucking amazing.” Minghao stopped for a second and sighed. 

Jun looked at Minghao as if he was about to say something emotional. “I think we have to do that second last thing a lot more times. And the last thing.”

Minghao rolled his eyes. “Be quiet! Let me finish!! I'm being so poetic!!! You're so annoying!!!!” 

Him and Jun laughed together before Minghao continued again. “I love you so much. You are the most amazing person in my life, and, well, in the universe. I - no, the world - doesn't deserve you. My prince, you saved me. And I couldn't even save myself, for you. I'm such an idiot.”

Jun cried. “Minghao…” he sniffled, then kissed Minghao's nose. “You are an idiot.”

Minghao then playfully hit Jun's chest “Hey!” 

Jun laughed softly. “Sorry. But you're my everything, too. I wish you knew how fucked up I was after the incident. I got a 2 month paid leave because I was so fucking depressed. We'd only been dating for a year but I honestly forgot what my life was like without you in it. You are my sunshine and even though it got hard sometimes, we fought through. Because I knew I'd see that smile and hear that voice and I'd be blessed by that giggle one more time. I did everything for you because you're my everything. I would not give you up for anything, ever. I love you so much, my prince.” Jun said softly.

Minghao sniffled and stroked Jun's hair. “I love you too. I'm never going to leave you again.” 

Jun laughed softly. “I fucking hope not. And I'll never ever leave you.” Both of them laughed at that. 

Minghao then scooched over on his bed to make space for Jun to sit there too. Minghao leaned his head on Minghao's shoulder and said “Still. One of us is going to die before the other eventually.” 

Jun then sighed. “Then we'll die right after the other one does.”

Minghao laughed softly. “But what about our kids?”

“Kids?” Jun asked suspiciously. 

Minghao then gasped softly. “Oh, by kids, I mean kid. And by kid I mean Comet. Who's gonna look after her?”

Jun giggled. “If kids is what you want, then kids it is.” he mumbled as he held Minghao's hand. “If you want to be married and live in a house near the city with a backyard and a pool and our two kids and a cat running around, then that's what you'll get. If you want a fucking island, I'll- I'll see what I can do.”

Minghao smiled wide. “Not a cat. A dog. And three kids.”

“Anything for you.” Jun sighed. “And I, I got us promise rings the day you, uh, yeah.” Jun said, motioning to the two rings on his own fingers. “I don't know I guess I just put them on as a promise for you. A promise that I'd never forget you.” He then pulled Minghao's ring off of his pinky finger. 

Minghao smiled softly. “It's beautiful. Thank you, Jun.” Minghao then put his hand out and Jun slipped the ring on his ring finger. “And I, too, promise that I'll never forget you. And that I'll love you forever and stay with you for as long as I can.”

Jun smiled. “That's all I ever wanted.”


	9. Twelve Years Later

_Today it's been 12 years since the incident, and holy shit._

_Firstly, right after the incident, Jun told his work about the situation so then he got a six month paid leave from work- which is crazy!! Jun must be really good at his job for them to do that in order for him to stay. They must love him there, and I get why they would. This meant that Jun had more time for himself and he spent more time being there for me, too._

-

“Minghao?” Jun called from the other end of the sofa.

“Yeah?” Minghao softly responded. 

Jun gripped Minghao's suicide note softly and showed it to Minghao. “Can we get rid of this?” he asked. 

Minghao looked over and nodded. “God, yes.”

Jun grinned. “Good.” and walked over to the recycling bin. 

“Wait.” Minghao said. “I know it's not exactly legal but can we go out and burn it?”

Jun looked at the note and smiled at Minghao. “Sure.”

… 

Jun sat behind Minghao and they both sat cross-legged on the floor of their balcony as Minghao held a lighter and Jun held the note. “You ready?” Jun asked. 

Minghao sighed then grinned. “Yeah.” Minghao held his glass of juice (wow what children) up, and so did Jun. “To never doing dumb shit ever again.” Minghao said. 

Jun laughed softly as he clinked glasses with Minghao and they both took a sip before putting their glasses down. 

“Alright. Let's do it.” Minghao said then turned the lighter on and held it to the paper. 

Jun held the piece of paper as they both watched it burn in Jun's hand. At the last second, Jun went to drop it onto the ground, but a gust of wind blew it off the balcony and into the air. 

Minghao leaned back against Jun's frontside as they both sat there, looking at the nighttime city view until Minghao fell asleep. 

Jun laughed softly and picked Minghao up to put him to bed. 

-

_After he went back to work, I got a job, too. Back then, I worked at the rescue centre we adopted Comet from. From then on, we spent around 3.5 more years fucking around and being in love. So, on our 5 year anniversary, Jun proposed so that we could spend our entire lives fucking around and being in love._

-

The starlight set the perfect mood as the few small lanterns around them softly illuminated their picnic blanket. 

Minghao looked at Jun as he ate his orange slice. “You know,” he began. “I thought this was going to be really cheesy, but I really love this. It's beautiful, thank you, Junhui.”

Jun smiled and laughed nervously at Minghao. “Yeah, thanks. And you're welcome.”

Minghao looked into the picnic basket and laughed softly at what he saw inside. “Cotton candy?” he asked.

Jun then laughed again, but less nervously. “It just felt right.”

Minghao smiled back at Jun at that. He put a small amount of the candy of his mouth before standing up to look at the lantern hanging from the tree above the two of them, turning away from Jun. “These are really pretty,” he started. “Where did you-.” Minghao stopped himself short and put his hands over his mouth as he turned around and saw Jun down on one knee, smiling at him. “Jun…” he trailed off, almost nervously. 

Jun smiled and held Minghao's hand that he wasn't using to cover his mouth. “Minghao-” he began, but soon got cut off by some strange high-pitched noise Minghao made. 

“Okay no I'm sorry continue.” he laughed. 

Jun smiled. “I'm going to keep this short because I honestly don't know how long I can do this for when you're looking at me like that.”

“How am I looking at you?”

“Let me talk!!!”

“Okay sorry.”

“It's okay.” Jun sighed. “I love you so much. Every moment I'm with you makes me feel so… warm. Whenever I'm with you, I feel complete. I don't know how I ever lived without you in my life. You give me meaning. You make me happy. You are the kindest, sweetest, most amazing person anyone could ask for. I love everything about you. Everything from your eyes to your smile to your laugh to your hands when I hold them to your feet when you kick me in bed because you want more sleep. The combination of it all is so perfect and I couldn't ask for a better person in my life. So, Minghao, will you marry me?”

Minghao fell down and laughed softly as he said. “Of course.”

-

_One year later, we got married. Another year after that, we decided to move one step further._

-

“Welcome home, baby.” Jun mumbled softly as he opened the door to Minghao who was carrying their daughter into their apartment. 

Minghao smiled and whispered “This is your first home.” 

Comet ran to the two of them, panting and jumping up to see what - or who - Minghao was carrying. 

Jun took his shoes and jacket off, then took their daughter out of Minghao's arms so Minghao could do the same. Jun then kneeled down and Comet happily propped her front two paws up on Jun's arms and looked at their baby happily. Comet began sniffing all over her and looked at Jun happily. 

Minghao and Jun then moved to sit down on the sofa together. Minghao sat in front of Jun, holding their daughter, and Jun sat behind Minghao, holding him. Minghao looked at her and smiled softly. “Her cheeks are really cute and pink.” he muttered. 

Jun laughed softly. “Yeah, like cotton candy.” Minghao turned back and smiled at Jun, and Jun used this opportunity to kiss Minghao softly. He pulled away and looked at Minghao, then his neck, then his arms, then at who he was holding in said arms. “I love you.” he whispered softly. 

Minghao turned back towards their daughter and leaned back into Jun. “I love you, too.”

-

_I then quit my job and worked for this website where I could write and post my photography - which was good, because then I could work from home. Then, the last thing we wanted from life was our own house. So, we bought a big house with a big yard near the city, with a swimming pool in the backyard, and tons of space for guests. Just like I always wanted. We also got another dog - a golden retriever. Lastly, we found my mother's and grandmother's wills - which, for some insanely crazy weird reason, we didn't have before - and then Jun got promoted big-time so I didn't have to work anymore._

-

Minghao was wearing sunglasses and looked ahead at his family as he held their newest baby in his lap as he sat under the shade of the gazebo. Their baby boy was - obviously - wearing a bucket hat, had his hand in his mouth, and watched intently as Jun and his two other siblings were playing around in the backyard.  Comet sat right next to Minghao and also watched the scenario unfold by the pool.

Jun was playing around in the pool with their new dog and two oldest children - one older girl and one younger boy. 

“Dad!” their older son yelled from the edge of the pool. “Watch this!” He then jumped into the pool playfully. 

“Woah! That was so cool!” Jun exclaimed,swimming towards him. 

Their oldest daughter swam towards them, too. “I know! I taught him how!” 

Jun smiled. “Really? My kids are so talented!”

Minghao laughed softly. “Guys!” he yelled. He then heard a variety of screams and strange noises in response. “Come eat!” 

The three of them then walked towards Minghao and the baby under the gazebo. They wrapped themselves in towels and began to eat the different fruits Minghao had cut up a few minutes earlier. 

Their oldest daughter put a small piece of banana into her youngest brother's mouth, and he ate it happily. 

Their older son finished his orange and put the peel into his mouth. “Daddy! Look at this!” he said to Minghao. He then flashed Minghao a happy orange peel smile.

Minghao's heart fluttered at that. “That's so cool!” he laughed softly. “Why don't you show dad?”

Their son then turned to Jun and smiled softly. Just as Jun was about to say something, he was interrupted by his daughter. 

“Dad! Look here!” She shouted. 

Just as Jun turned to face her, she sprayed him with a water gun from the play structure. 

Jun gasped dramatically as he discarded his towel and ran to get a water gun. He then walked towards the play structure and pointed his gun at his daughter. “I won't let you get away with this!!!” he shouted. He then began shooting at her from the ground, and she shot at him from the play structure. 

Their oldest son then picked up a gun and said “I want to play, too!” he then ran up the structure and began shooting at Jun as well. 

“Minghao!” Jun cried. “You have to help me!”

Minghao laughed softly. “I'm sorry, my knight in shining armour, but I think I'll just stay up here, comfortable and kept away in my tower.” he said, playing with their youngest son's small hands. 

Jun groaned, then so did their other kids. “Ugh! Come on, daddy!” their son groaned. “You gotta fight with dad!” 

Minghao just laughed again. “I don't think so.”

Jun then sighed, “Come on!” he then aimed his gun near Minghao and gave him a warning shot. 

Minghao instinctively covered the baby to shield him. As he returned to his original position, he felt that he was shot by the water on the side of his neck. “Ah!” he screamed. “I've been shot!” 

Jun screamed, too. “I didn't mean to hit you! It was supposed to be a warning shot!” he then ran towards Minghao and started a dramatic scene. 

“Junhui,” he said, grabbing Jun's arm and breathing heavily. “I think I'm dying.”

“No!” Jun cried out. “You can't do this!” 

Minghao sighed dramatically as their daughter walked towards them. “You know what heals all pain?” she asked. 

“What does?” Jun asked in response. 

“True love’s kiss!” she said, smiling. 

“You heard her.” Jun said, leaning towards Minghao. “We gotta do it.”

Minghao then rolled his eyes. “Okay then.” 

Jun then kissed Minghao softly and quickly. And their two oldest children then both went “Eww.”

Minghao pulled away and smiled “Ah, I'm healed!” he said cheerfully. “Thank you, my knight in shining armour.”

Jun laughed softly. “Anything to save you, my prince.”

-

 _And, fuck, I can't believe I almost let all of that go. I can't believe that I almost let myself lose the chance to have any of this. I'm thirty-five years old now and I can't even comprehend how amazing my life is. I mean, sure, I may have rushed into these things a bit - I did all of these things when I was pretty young, and I still am pretty young - but I wouldn't change a bit of it._

_Honestly, I wouldn't trade anything in the world for what we have now. If only I knew that sooner._

_I absolutely fucking love everything Jun and I have right now. I never foresaw or planned any of it - well, maybe I planned a little bit of it in my head, but - I wouldn't have it any other way._

_My life is amazing and I couldn't think of anything to change about it._

_Twelve years ago, and still today, Jun was and is my best friend, my love, my partner in crime, my knight in shining armour, and my prince. I love him unconditionally. I hope he never loses our memories of orange peel smiles and cotton candy cheeks. I know I won't._

_Xu Minghao, over and out._


End file.
